Nine long months, an FMA story
by Metroids ate my Brain
Summary: How does a homunculus reproduce?-Theoretically, it's impossible. But as this story shows, even the impossible is possible. Mangaverse EnvyxPreggers!Lust. Rated for swearing and sexual reference.


Chapter 1-Realization

Envy and Lust were sitting in a corner in Envy's room. They were looking impatiently at a little white square in Lust's hands. "Okay" Envy said "Let's see what happens. Lemon… Lemon… Oh, yes, lemon!!" "Why is that good, Envy?" Asked Lust "We don't want 3 lemons" "You idiot" retorted the younger homunculus "This means we've won the lottery!! Why would you think that this was bad?" "Oh, I guess I was thinking of something else" replied Lust, a smile saying "I've done something bad" creeping across her face, as she tried to kick something out of Envy's field of vision. Unfortunately for her, Envy's field of vision is incredible-he noticed and demanded to see what she was trying to hide from him. She handed it to him, and what he saw, shook him to the very core of his being-3 lemons. He was staring at a pregnancy test, and it was positive. His older sister was pregnant, most likely with his child. He asked her how this was possible. "Well, Envy" she began "when a man and a woman love each other very much…" she was cut off by Envy "Lust, I know this part. What I want to know it what the hell is going on-Homunculi aren't supposed to be able to reproduce! So tell me, how the hell are you going to have a child? How the hell are we going to keep this from Pride, or Father for that matter? Furthermore, if you do in fact have one and this isn't some cruel joke, how are we going to raise the thing in a sane environment? You know very well that nobody in this house is sane." Just then, as if on cue, Pride stepped into their room. "Oh, shit." said Envy "Here comes the little bastard, here to tattle on us to Father… again." "First of all" the eldest homunculi began "I happen to have a good 100 years on your sister here, and we both know she's at least 140 years older than you. So were the **FUCK** do you get off calling me little, you pissy little bastard?!" "_Holy shit, Pride just had an Ed moment_" Thought Envy, completely oblivious to the fact that Pride usually only got this pissed right before he slaughtered somebody. "However, I am willing to look the other way. This child's going to need a father if you want it to grow up in at least a somewhat stable environment." "Wait" began Envy "you're not going to snitch on us to Father? Won't he find out eventually, and order us to get rid of it?" "Don't worry" said Pride "I've got that part covered." And so Pride explained his plan to them…

Later that day, Father called the two down to his chamber. He had said to come quickly, as the message was urgent. They became silent as they listened to his words. "Pride has given us a very valuable tip-off. He has told me that someone we need is taking a very long vacation. Though he would not tell who it was, he assured me that now would be the perfect opportunity to tail them. He also recommended that you two would be best suited for this task. Your orders are to go to this location, and keep watch on them. You'll also need these. Try to remain as inconspicuous as possible. Go now." He said, handing them an envelope. Three slips of paper; the location of the person, and 2 train tickets to get there, were enclosed. They thanked Father, and took their leave. As they were walking out, Envy saw Pride wink at them out of the corner of his eye.

As it turns out, the tickets Father had given them were for a private booth on the train, so the two had lots of room. Envy sat down next to his sister, rubbed her belly, and said "Well, honey, thanks to Pride, we just got ourselves a 10 month vacation. While we're there, what would you like to do?" "I don't know, right now I just want to rest. Could you wake me when they start serving meals?" she asked back. "Sure thing, honey." He said, as he left her to sleep, pulling out a book he had packed.

Envy woke his sister up, telling her that meals were being served then. She told him to go without her, as she was feeling sick. "I'm not going to go eat while you're feeling rotten. If you feel sick, I'm going to be right here with you." He helped her up, and led her to the bathroom, where she promptly threw up. "Do you think you've got a virus?" he asked her. "No" she replied "We don't get viruses. This has to be morning sickness. It'll pass soon enough." "Well you also said the same thing two weeks ago about not getting pregnant, but here we are. So I'm not that keen on listening to what we can't get anymore." Replied Envy with an obvious air of superiority. "But still, it's my job to be here for you. So if you do get sick, I'll be right here." "Thanks Envy. I think it was just morning sickness, I feel much better already. Let's go eat" said Lust.

The two sat in the dining car, trying to decide what to eat. "I don't know what to have, Lust" said Envy "In fact, I'm not even sure we're capable of eating." "I've eaten once before" said Lust "it wasn't much, but Father said we should remain as inconspicuous as possible, remember? Normal people eat, so we should too, for the moment." The waiter walked over to them. "Can I start you off with something to drink?" she asked. "We'll both just have water" replied Lust. "Okay, and are you two ready to order, or do you need a few more minutes?" she asked. "I guess I'll have the steak. What about you, honey?" Asked Envy. "Well, if you're having the steak, I guess I'll either have the chicken or the lobster." Said Lust. "Which would you recommend?" "Oh, defiantly the lobster." Replied the waiter. "I'll be right back with your order." He left, giving the expectant couple some time to think of a plan for the next 10 months. "So" started Envy "We're going to this "Dublith" place, eh? What's it got in the way of fun?" "I don't know" said Lust "I've heard that the hotels are nice, plus, there's an amusement park and a chocolate factory right near where we're staying. Maybe we could go visit." "Yea, I suppose that would be fun. Besides, you're always telling me how much you'd love to be dipped in chocolate and have me…" "Envy, let's try to keep our love life private, okay!" Lust snapped back. "Oh look" said Envy "Our food is here." "Here you are. Steak for you, sir" said the waiter, handing Envy his steak, and Lust her lobster "And the lobster for you, madam." The waiter then left to go service anther customer. Envy took a large bite out of his steak, chewed, and swallowed. "Oh my!" he exclaimed "this is the greatest thing I've ever had in my life! It's so-I can't describe this with words! Let me have some of your lobster, too-please?" "Oh, okay. I'm not surprised that it's the greatest thing to you, seeing as you've never eaten before. But could you keep it down a bit-We're supposed to be inconspicuous, remember?" said Lust, obviously pleased that her brother had found something besides slaughtering innocent people that he liked. She obliged his request and gave him a sample of her lobster. He seemed to love that, as well. When the meal was over, they retired to their compartment for the night. They unfolded the bed, and went to sleep.

Their day began quite differently. Lust woke to the feeling of Envy chewing on her boob. Envy, who was still sleeping at the time (he was dreaming about his steak, which explains the chewing), was awoken with a slap to the face from his older sister. "What the hell, Lust!" he screamed "What'd you slap me for? I thought you liked it when I chewed your boobs!" "Yes, but waking up to it is really odd feeling! How would you like it if you woke up to find me chewing on your arm, huh?!" screamed Lust. "Lust, I'm so fucked in the head that I'd probably enjoy that-you should know this. We've known each other for what, 50 years now, c'mon." Envy yelled back, obviously distraught. "Besides I didn't know what I was doing-I thought it was some steak. I have to say, though, your breasts made the best steaks ever. I could even taste the stake-y goodness." "Envy, if I weren't about to… hold that thought." Lust would have finished yelling at Envy, were it not for another bout of morning sickness. She rushed to the bathroom, where she proceeded to throw up the contents of her stomach. "this is going to be a regular thing, I take it." said Envy rather sarcasticlly.


End file.
